any kind. One has the definite feeling
that they enjoy each other tremendously
but would take philosophically a long
separation or death, that is, would re-
main strong. Throughout the most in-
tense and ecstatic love affairs, these peo-
ple remain themselves and remain ulti-
mately masters of themselves as well,
living by their own standards even though
enjoying each other intensely.
Obviously, this finding, if con-
firmed, will necessitate a revision or at
least an extension in the definition of ide-
al or healthy love in our culture. We have
customarily defined it in terms of a com-
plete merging of egos and a loss of sep-
arateness, a giving up of individuality
rather than a strengthening of it. While
this is true, the fact appears to be at this
moment that the individuality is strength-
ened, that the ego is in one sense merged
with another, but yet in another sense
remains separate and strong as always.
The two tendencies, to transcend indi-
viduality and to sharpen and strengthen
it, must be seen as partners and not as
contradictories. Furthermore, it is im-
plied that the best way to transcend the
ego is via having a strong identity.”
facebook.com/ScientificAmerican
Like us on Facebook