The Big Issue - UK (2021-03-01)

hen I was 16 my main preoccupation was being

pregnant and about to have my first child at 16.

With nowhere to live and no income. I’d left school

and gone to secretarial college. Back then in the

day, you could either be a secretary, a nurse or a teacher if you were a

woman. Those were three things that were open to you. So because

I was a bit of a writer and wanted to do drama, my mum said, if

you do a secretarial course for a year, you can go to drama school.

So that was the deal. And then when I was at secretarial college I

got pregnant.

When I first found out I was pregnant it was a catastrophe.

Anthony was my first proper boyfriend. We’d been going out for

about 18 months. We had no money. He was very optimistic, ecstatic

that I was pregnant and having a child. But I remember feeling, this

is terrible, this is the end of my life. My mother was horrified. And

then when she came around to the idea she said look, you don’t

have to marry him if you don’t want. You can stay here and have

the baby. And for that I’m eternally grateful to her, because there’s

not many mothers who would have said that. In these days if you

were pregnant you got married, and very hastily. So I wasn’t forced

to marry. But actually, I did love Anthony. And he loved me. We saw

each other every single day for 18 months. We were obsessed with

each other. So we did get married. Somebody made a dress for me,

somebody organised a special licence, and this wedding, which I

had nothing to do with organising, went ahead, with everybody

crying all through it. The vicar wouldn’t marry us in the church.

Anthony wanted to have a church wedding but the vicar said no, it

won’t last two minutes. I wish I could find him now.

Everybody I knew on our estate had a mum and dad, apart from

me. I just had a mum. People used to say to me, to tease me, you

haven’t got a dad. But I remembered the breakup, it was a very

violent breakup. Those images don’t go away, ever, ever, ever, ever.

You will remember them all your life. When my dad came back into

my life when I was 21, I found it very difficult to make a relationship

with him. But I didn’t need two parents; my mother was a mother

and a father to us. She was a very affectionate, loving woman who, if

she wasn’t working, was making sure that me and my brother were

alright and given love. She was a brilliant mother, she made me

believe I could do anything. I had a wonderful childhood in many

ways, because having one loving parent is all you really need.

Growing up, I didn’t know anybody that was a writer or an actress.

I had no thoughts of going to drama school, I didn’t know what

that was. Then one day I was entertaining the class during dinner

break – making up little sketches and stories as I often did – and

Mrs Davis, an American teacher, came into the classroom. I didn’t

even know she was there, I was so wrapped up in acting out. After

all the kids finished clapping she sent everyone out and asked me

to stay behind. I thought I was going to get into trouble. And she

said “How do you do that? Where does the story come from? Is it

written down?” And I told her I just make it up on the spot. And she

said, I wish I could put you in my pocket and take you back to the

States with me. I had no idea what she was talking about, but after

that day I was chosen to go to everything in school that was art, even

a trip to the ballet. It was always me and I never understood why.

And when my mother went to the open day, Mrs Davis said, she

needs to go to drama school. She’s got a talent. My mum was kind of

furious, saying, you’ve got your head in the clouds, Kay, you need to

concentrate on your maths and sciences. But slowly she came round

to the idea and realised that what Mrs Davis was saying was true.

They say that, even when you’re 30, you’re a young writer, because

you need life experience to be able to write. I had a lot of life

experience at a young age. And that meant I was never fearful.

When you’ve given birth at 16, when you don’t know where your next

penny is coming from, you’re not afraid of saying things. I remember

the producer of Band of Gold telling me what he thought my series

was, saying it should be this and that. And I said to him, no, it’s

none of those things. It’s about the women that walk the streets in

Bradford, it’s about prostitution, it’s about sex workers. I said, you

W

letter to my

younger self.

Actor, screenwriter, director

2012

Joined by dog Ava and

Katherine Rose Morley, who

plays Keeley in The Syndicate

1999

With the stars of Fanny and Elvis

(l-r) Gaynor Faye (her daughter),

Kerry Fox and Ben Daniels

2010

Receiving her OBE from

the Prince of Wales at

Buckingham Palace

Kay

Mellor

Photo:

PA Images / Alamy Stock Photo

Photo:

Rollem Productions / Ben Blackall

Photo:

Paul Harness / Alamy Stock Photo

Photo:

Rollem Productions

20 | BIGISSUE.COM FROM 01 MARCH 2021