that I just knew he was going to say “no.” He then went on
to explain that he loved me and would never do anything
to hurt me, but if I gave him permission to have sex with
other women and not form relationships with them, he
would. He said that as he’s gotten older, he’s been wonder-
ing if he is still attractive and sexually appealing, and that
attention from another younger woman would boost his
ego. Then he asked me if I would be willing to give him
permission to have sex with other women if he promised to
let them know up front that it’s only sex he’s interested in
and he’s not interested in a relationship. He even offered to
answer any questions I’d have with his encounters, or, if I
didn’t want to know about it, to just do it and not tell me
what and when it happened. Obviously, he’s got a problem
with monogamy. Should I consent so that a potential for
sneaking around can be eliminated? What can I do to get
him to change his thinking—if anything?The answer to that last question in the “Strawberry Letter” is,
not much. A man can love his wife, his children, his home, and
the life that they’ve all built together, and have an incredible
physical connection to her, and still get some from another
woman without a second thought about it, because the actual act
with the other woman meant nothing to him. It was something
that may have made him feel good physically, but emotionally,
his heart—the professing, providing, and protecting he saves for
the woman he loves—may be at home with his woman.