Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Of course, men will consider the risks of getting caught
cheating on his lady. But mostly, men initiate affairs pretty con-
fident that they’re going to get away with it, and most certainly
with all kinds of confidence that if they get caught, their denials
will see them through. I used to do a joke where I would en-
courage men to ride their lie all the way out. I told them, “I
don’t care if somebody got a picture of my butt up in the air in
the pump position with my social security number stamped on
the left-hand side of my cheek, I’m going to tell my wife, ‘It
ain’t me—I don’t know who that is with my social security
number all over his butt, with the same shoes as me, but that’s
not me!’ ”
Now, that’s my joke, but most men don’t consider getting
caught a laughing matter. A man who cheats has most certainly
calculated the collateral damage that would come from getting
busted—potential loss of the woman he loves, his children, his
home, and his peace of mind—and he recognizes that this would
be a devastating blow to all the things that matter in his life. We
all are quite familiar with the saying “Hell hath no fury like a
woman scorned,” and men understand its meaning much better
than you do; we know the hell is coming and there will be
plenty of scorn if we get busted.
Still, men don’t really ever think they’re going to get caught.
Basically, we think we’re slick and we go to great lengths to