Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

here’s a secret: that’s exactly what the players who wrote the
rule book you’ve been following want you to believe. Women
live under that fear because the men intent on playing the game
tricked you into thinking this way; as long as you believe it, we
get to keep the game alive until we get what we want, without
any obligations.
If you really want a good man in your life, if you’ve asked God
to give you a family, you’ve got to stop all this foolishness and
introduce this man to your kids so you can figure him out. The
sincere men among us know that women with kids are a pack-
age deal, and we’ll understand that you are a mother with obli-
gations to your kids first, especially if you lay that out up front.
Tell us straight up: “I’m not just looking for a mate for myself;
I’m trying to form a union with a man who will be willing to
be the head of this family.” You know what a declaration such
as that is? That, sweetheart, is a requirement. You’ve told him
in a nice, not-so-subtle-but-sweet way that the only way a man
is going to be a part of your life is if he agrees to be a part of
your children’s lives, too. A real man is going to be okay with
that because you’ve told him that if he’s going to be a part of
your life, you and the kids are a package deal, and that he will
get dismissed quickly if you feel like he’s not right for or good
to the kids. With that information, with your requirements so
clearly laid out, he’s going to either run for the hills, or try to
figure out how to make this thing work. Go ahead, invite him
to come with you and the kids to the zoo, or invite him over to