Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

I just can’t stand this kitchen this way. The color just throws me
all off, the cabinets are all wrong, they don’t go with the stove
and I can’t get my mind right in here when I’m trying to cook.”
If he’s all the way in it with you, he will say, without hesitation,
“What color you want this kitchen to be, baby?” Tell him
“pink,” and see if by next Saturday the whole kitchen isn’t
painted pink, cabinets and all. He will see your distress, under-
stand that if you don’t like the cabinets and the walls and the
way the stove functions, you’re going to walk into that kitchen
with your mouth poked out—phoning in the home-cooked
meals because you just can’t hook up the steaks and baked po-
tatoes like you want to in a kitchen you can’t stand. And we
definitely don’t want that, so to the hardware store we will go.
Even if we don’t have money for a complete remodel, we’ll go
and find you some hardware for the cabinets, maybe some new
handles, and some sandpaper—lots of sandpaper—to get that
color you can’t stand off your cabinets, so that we can refinish
them exactly the way you want them to be finished. A man
who really loves you can’t wait to do this for you, because in the
back of his mind, he can envision you with a smile on your
face, setting his place at the head of the table, and serving up a
fine meal in the new kitchen he fixed just for you. (Oh, make
no mistake about it: we want to see you happy, but it’s also all
about the return, ladies. Please understand and respect the
return.)
Of course, we operate under the assumption that The Fix