Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

about maintaining this balance—the two of you understanding
exactly what each other requires to be innately happy, and then
trying to provide at least some of that so that both mates feel
like they’re in this relationship with the other. For men, that
means that every once in a while, they may have to sit and be
still and just listen. For women, it would go a long way if they
respected the encryption of manhood—that we’re too focused
on who we are, what we do, and how much we make to spend
a whole lot of time sitting around pondering things that can’t be
fixed.
Of course, it would go a long way if women stopped open-
ing the conversation with “we need to talk.” The moment you
say that, our defenses go up, the repair tools come out, the
sweat starts rolling, and we’re sprinting through the events of
the past weeks, trying to figure out what we did wrong, when
we did it, and how we’re going to fix it so that we’re not in
trouble anymore.
In fact, I think it’s a good idea that, if you just want to vent,
you start the conversation with something simple, like, “Honey,
look, nothing is really wrong—I just want to tell somebody
something.” That’s a great opening line; it allows us to relax,
take our foot down from the witness stand, put away our “fix
it” tools, and actually sit and listen to what you have to say.