All I’m telling you to do is be smart about it. Know that if
this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, you’re not going
to change his mind just because you two are going out on dates
and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on
the Lord’s green earth—you’re capable of interesting conversa-
tion, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like
sandwiches, you’re independent (which means, to him, that
you’re not going to be in his pockets)—but if he’s not ready for
a serious relationship, he’s going to treat you like a sports fish.
A perfect example of this is in this “Strawberry Letter”—these
are letters the Steve Harvey Morning Show receives from its
listeners— sent in by a woman who clearly was just starting to
realize she was nothing more than a plaything:
I have been seeing this man for six months and every-
thing seemed cool until January of this year. We’ve
gone out and visited each other’s homes, but all of a
sudden, he’s stopped calling and when I call him, he
seems excited, but then he is very short with me. He
plans trips and cancels them. And when I ask him if we
should cut off all communication, he says “no.” But he
doesn’t act like he wants to be bothered. I don’t know
what happened, and I still like him, but it just bothers
me to know that something could be on his mind that
he is not sharing with me or maybe he has found a
woman and wants to keep me in his back pocket.