RD201904

thing as everyone.

I have to go to the

bathroom.”

—Marc Allen Trost

Thornton, Colorado

Radio personality and

YouTuber Tommy

Edison has been blind

since birth, 55 years

ago. But don’t pity him.

“There are plenty of

good things about

being blind,” he says.

For example:

✦“I go on airplanes

first.”

✦“I never have to

worry about drinking

and driving.”

✦“I don’t have to do

my own lawn.”

✦“My electric bill’s

lower than yours.”

✦“Every single

woman I’ve ever

been with is a 10.”

—youtube.com

Got a funny story

about friends or

family? It could be

worth $$$. For details,

go to page 4 or

rd.com/submit.

BEDTIME STORIES

We asked readers to share their craziest sleep-talking

stories. Some of these might keep you up at night.

✦I dreamed I was

rocking a baby to sleep.

In the morning, my

husband, who is bald,

told me I patted his head

for 30 minutes while

repeating, “Go to sleep,

baby.”

—LeighAnn Phillips

shalimar, florida

✦My husband sat up in

bed and announced,

“Eileen, I believe I can

kill about 20 chickens.”

He then went back

to sleep, leaving me

wide-awake.

—E.S. via rd.com

✦As a kid, I was at a

sleepover, and I watched

my friend stuff the

bedsheet into her

mouth, pull it out,

and say, “That was

good, Mom; what’s

for dessert?”

—Shirley Yanachik

the villages, florida

✦My husband was

tossing and turning

in bed, so I asked

whether he was all

right. He replied,

“Yes, I talked with

the horse, and he didn’t

have any suggestions or

answers for the project.”

—Ann Anderson

kenosha, wisconsin

✦Turning to me

with some urgency,

my sleeping husband

stated, “I have to do

the cat’s taxes!”

—Candace R. Renard

staunton, virginia

✦Our eight-year-old

daughter: “Are you

saying that George

Washington didn’t

invent the toilet?”

—Laura Miller

catonsville, maryland

Reader’s Digest

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