2019-08-01_Brides_USA

essay

In the decade since Jillian and Kevin got married, social media has become an integral
part of the wedding process. Slickly produced proposals and epic save-the-date videos
began to be A Thing. Proposals utilizing cue cards (like when the guy tells his best friend’s
wife he is in love with her in Love Actually) became as popular as Amazing Race–inspired
proposal videos. And my favorite: The flash mob proposals! I loved when my pal Marc
Jacobs proposed to his boyfriend at a Chipotle in 2018.
Throughout my career in fashion, I’ve fielded all sorts of questions from future brides
(and a few grooms) on all sorts of sartorial issues. Is a strapless too ’90s? Do I have to
invite my future mother-in-law? Why is it so hard to find a bridesmaid dress that works
with everyone’s figure? (My answers: Kinda, yes, and don’t do matchy bridesmaid dresses!)
But when I became the head of fashion at YouTube, I started receiving questions that had
nothing to do with style: How do you pick a hashtag? How long should a wedding video
be? Is it bad if a wedding video doesn’t get a zillion views? (My answers: Be witty, defi-
nitely less than eight minutes, and get a grip!)
This May, The New York Times published a story called “Weddings So Exclusive No One
Made the Guest List.” It detailed a new trend of couples hosting lavish, meticulously
planned elopements, and instead of inviting friends and family, they just sent a video link
of the ceremony after the fact. When my boyfriend’s sister and her longtime boyfriend got
married earlier this year, they did something similar: They had a small, private ceremony
for immediate family and a big party afterwards. The couple asked me to film the actual
ceremony on my phone and upload it. I was happy to oblige (although, yes,
I was nerve-wrecked I was going to mess it up somehow), and I posted the
whole ceremony as an unlisted video on my YouTube channel the next day.
The couple sent it to their friends (unlisted videos are only accessible to
those who are given access) and told me they would watch it when their
real-life memories of the ceremony started to fade.
At YouTube, we started to see an increase of wedding-themed content
spike around 2015—everything from getting-ready-with-me type videos to
hair and makeup tutorials. Like all good video strategies, the content I find
most compelling is something that’s super personalized. A good example is
Safiya Nygaard, a YouTube creator who has been documenting her wedding
process since her engagement video. Earlier this year, she took a video cam-
era with her dress shopping and was very candid about the process.
Today, every couple is thinking about videographers and hashtags in addi-
tion to a florist. In fact, a cottage industry of companies entirely devoted to
content creation for your wedding has sprung up all over the country.
Just like all the hullabaloo surrounding a wedding, there are examples of
people focusing on the wrong elements of marriage, which is really anything
not focused on the act of starting a life together. But, for the most part, I love
that YouTube has given me a front-row seat to all of these major life
moments, even when they’re about complete strangers. I have no problem
admitting I’ve been known to shed a tear watching some of these videos!
I called this a fairy tale because the JK Wedding Entrance Dance has a happy
ending. Actually, it has a few happy endings. The couple is still married—Jillian
is a psychologist and professor of criminal justice, Kevin is an immigration attorney, and they
have three kids—and they are still pals with everyone in their homemade music video. In the
past decade, 11 of those people have earned doctorate degrees (medicine, law, education,
ecology, physical therapy) and added 22 kids to the mix. Even the man who filmed the video
married his then-girlfriend, one of the bridesmaids, and they have two children. In 2009, the
television show The Office parodied their wedding video. “We were shocked,” Jillian says,
adding they didn’t know it was happening until they saw it on television with everyone else.
Does Jillian have any advice for aspiring viral brides out there? Not really. “It was all an
accident!” she says, adding: “I would say be yourself, have fun, and enjoy your day.”

“Like all good

video strategies,

the content I find

most compelling is

super personalized...

I have no problem

admitting I’ve been

known to shed a

tear watching some

of these videos!”

41

brides.com august + september 2019