Chapter 5
LIKING
The Friendly Thief
The main work of a trial attorney is to make a jury like his
client.
—CLARENCE DARROWF
EW PEOPLE WOULD BE SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT, AS A RULE, we most
prefer to say yes to the requests of someone we know and like. What
might be startling to note, however, is that this simple rule is used in
hundreds of ways by total strangers to get us to comply with their re-
quests.
The clearest illustration I know of the professional exploitation of the
liking rule is the Tupperware party, which I consider the quintessential
American compliance setting. Anybody familiar with the workings of
a Tupperware party will recognize the use of the various weapons of
influence we have examined so far: reciprocity (to start, games are
played and prizes won by the partygoers; anyone who doesn’t win a
prize gets to reach into a grab bag for hers so that everyone has received
a gift before the buying begins), commitment (each participant is urged
to describe publicly the uses and benefits she has found in the Tupper-
ware she already owns), and social proof (once the buying begins, each
purchase builds the idea that other, similar people want the product;
therefore, it must be good).
All the major weapons of influence are present to help things along,
but the real power of the Tupperware party comes from a particular
arrangement that trades on the liking rule. Despite the entertaining and
persuasive salesmanship of the Tupperware demonstrator, the true re-