the_debt_of_time

that she was getting fat. In the silence that followed a typical spat between them, Hermione
had looked up and offered him forgiveness. He blew it off immediately, likely having
assumed she meant his most recent remark. She clarified by telling him that she forgave
him for the way he had treated her their entire childhood; that after the war, she understood
at least a small part of what he might have had to grow up with. And she forgave him.
Draco had gaped at her the same way that Sirius looked at her now—like he had
been reminded of where he came from and what was expected of him. Like the history of
his family just came crashing down around him, and he was unworthy of the gift she was
offering. Why would a Malfoy be deserving of her forgiveness? Why would a Black be
deserving of her love? Draco had walked away that day and ignored her for a week. They
had never talked about it again.
Sirius would walk away now, too, she realised.
"I won't tell Jamie," she said sadly, accepting that for some reason Sirius needed to
run and maybe James would be as good a reason as any. Sirius was not ready to face this,
whatever it was between them. He would be one day. The day after her nineteenth birthday,
he would be ready, and she would be willing. "You don't have to apologise. You know how
I feel. I'm going to live my life, enjoy my life. I'd like to do that with you."
Sirius stood there, staring at her like he wanted to look away. As though he was
struck by the light and beauty of the sun, but it was burning his eyes to keep staring.
"I'm not worthy of that," he muttered. Before she had a chance to follow up with
an irritated scoff and a reproachful lecture, he cut her off. "Not of you. Not now. Hell,
Mia. You defended me not an hour ago against the craziest witch I've ever known, my
mother included. And I just stood by like a first year Hufflepuff."
"Sirius―"
"You deserve better," Sirius said quietly as he walked away from her. Hovering by
the door, he softly added, "Remus is in love with you."