in the face of a moral gap. We decide that something is better than something
else; that one person is more righteous or just than another; that one event is
less desirable than another. Moral gaps are where our values are born.
Now, let’s pretend I apologize to you for punching you. I say, “Hey,
reader, that was totally unfair and, wow, I was way out of line. That will
never, ever happen again. And as a symbol of my overwhelming regret and
guilt—here, I baked you a cake. Oh, and here’s a hundred bucks. Enjoy.”
Let’s also pretend that this is somehow satisfying to you. You accept my
apology and my cake and the hundred dollars and genuinely feel that
everything is fine. We’ve now “equalized.” The moral gap that was between
us is gone. I’ve “made up” for it. You might even say we’re even—neither of
us is a better or worse person than the other, neither of us deserves better or
worse treatment than the other any longer. We’re operating on the same moral
plane.
Equalizing like this restores hope. It means that there’s nothing
necessarily wrong with you or wrong with the world. That you can go about
your day with a sense of self-control, a hundred bucks, and a sweet-ass cake.
Now let’s imagine another scenario. This time, instead of punching you, let’s
say I buy you a house.
Yes, reader, I just bought you a fucking house.
This will open up another moral gap between us. But instead of an
overwhelming feeling of wanting to equalize the pain I’ve caused you, you
will instead experience an overwhelming feeling of wanting to equalize the
joy I’ve created. You might hug me, say “thank you” a hundred times, give
me a gift in return, or promise to babysit my cat from now until eternity.
Or, if you’re particularly well mannered (and have some self-control), you
may even attempt to refuse my offer to buy you a house because you
recognize that it will open up a moral gap that you will never be able to
surmount. You may acknowledge this by saying to me, “Thank you, but
absolutely not. There’s no way for me ever to repay you.”
As with the negative moral gap, with the positive moral gap you will feel
indebted to me, that you “owe me” something, that I deserve something good
or that you need to “make it up” to me somehow. You will have intense
feelings of gratitude and appreciation in my presence. You might even shed a
tear of joy. (Aw, reader!)
It’s our natural psychological inclination to equalize across moral gaps, to
reciprocate actions: positive for positive; negative for negative. The forces
that impel us to fill those gaps are our emotions. In this sense, every action