- What is the role of spirituality in your lives? What was this role in
your families growing up? How should this be in your family?
Shared symbolsAnother sign of shared meaning in a marriage is that your lives are
surrounded by things that represent the values and beliefs you share.
Often, these "things" are literally objects. Religious icons like a
crucifix or mezuzah are the most obvious symbols of faith a couple
may display in their home. But there are other, more personalized
ones as well. For Jenna and Michael, their dining room table held
special significance. They had saved up for many years to have it
custom made by a local carpenter who was an expert carver. Every
time they opened it up for family celebrations, its beauty and
strength spoke to them of the beauty and stability of their own
marriage. Another family kept a little statuette of a baby angel on the
mantel in memory of their first baby, who was stillborn. The angel
commemorated the baby but also represented their own resilience
and deep love and support for each other, which had gotten them
through this tragedy and allowed them to go on to have a large,
happy family.
Some symbols are abstract but no less significant to a marriage.
Family stories, for example, can be symbolic of a whole set of values.
In that sense, Helen's story about her great-grandparents who kept
their love alive even when separated by an ocean symbolized the
family's deep sense of loyalty. Every time that story was retold (and
almost by definition, family stories do get told over and over again
through the years), it was symbolic of the great value they place on
loyalty Her husband Kevin's story of his great-grandmother's general
store and her gracious generosity toward the poor was also a
metaphor for another deeply held family value--that money is not as
important as being connected to your community. Even a home itself
can be of great symbolic meaning to a couple. They may view it not
only as the place they eat and sleep but as the spiritual center of their