Seven naslovi

Michael when she says, "I thought, "God, if I don't marry this guy,
someone else will. I'd better get him while I can."" Michael says, "I
would look at other girls, and I didn't want to be with them. I just
wanted to be with her. I wanted to become a legal couple and let
everybody know how special she is to me. "Justine recalls the unity
they felt in dealing with one of his buddies who resented that Justine
was taking so much of Michael's time. "He didn't get it that I was
giving her my time," Michael says.
It won't come as much of a surprise to hear that Michael and
Justine continue to be happily married. That's because having a
fundamentally positive view of your spouse and your marriage is a
powerful buffer when bad times hit. Because they have this reserve of
good feeling, Justine and Michael will not have cataclysmic thoughts
about separation and divorce each time they have an argument.

The antidote to contempt

At first, this may all seem obvious to the point of being
ridiculous: People who are happily married like eachother. If they
didn't, they wouldn't be happily married. But fondness and
admiration can be fragile unless you remain aware of how crucial
they are to the friendship that is at the core of any good marriage. By
simply reminding yourself of your spouse's positive qualities--even as
you grapple with each other's flaws--you can prevent a happy
marriage from deteriorating. The simple reason is that fondness and
admiration are antidotes for contempt. If you maintain a sense of
respect for your spouse, you are less likely to act disgusted with him
or her when you disagree. So fondness and admiration prevent the
couple from being trounced by the four horsemen.
If your mutual fondness and admiration have been completely
extinguished, your marriage is in dire trouble. Without the
fundamental belief that your spouse is worthy of honor and respect,
where is the basis for any kind of rewarding relationship? But there
are many couples like Rory and Lisa, whose fondness and admiration
have receded to barely detectable levels. Although it seems that the