The biggest payoff from this emotional bank account isn't the
cushion it offers when the couple are stressed. As I said, turning
toward your spouse in the little ways is also the key to long-lasting
romance. Many people think that the secret to reconnecting with their
partner is a candlelit dinner or a by-the-sea vacation. But the real
secret is to turn toward each other in little ways every day. A
romantic night out really turns up the heat only when a couple has
kept the pilot light burning by staying in touch in the little ways. It's
easy to imagine Justine and Michael, the couple who recalled their
wedding and courtship with such delight, at a candlelit restaurant.
But sit Peter and Cynthia, the couple who couldn't agree on car
washing or much of anything else, in the same chairs, and the
evening would most likely be a fiasco, filled with accusations,
recriminations, or awkward silences.
Is your Marriage Primed for Romance?To get a good sense of how your relationship is faring (or is
likely to fare in the future) in the romance department, answer the
following questions.
Read each statement and circle T for "true" or F for "false."
- We enjoy doing small things together (folding laundry, watching TV) T
F - I look forward to spending my free time with my partner. T F
- At the end of the day my partner is glad to see me. T F
- My partner is usually interested in hearing my views. T F
- I really enjoy discussing things with my partner. T F
- My partner is one of my best friends. T F
- I think my partner would consider me a very close friend. T F
- We just love talking to each other. T F
- When we go out together, the time goes very quickly. T F
- We always have a lot to say to each other, T F
- We have a lot of fun together. T F
- We are spiritually very compatible. T F