levels of human need. Shepherding the hearts of children also
involves helping them understand their motivations, goals, wants,
wishes, and desires. It exposes the true nature of reality and
encourages faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. You undertake the
shepherding process through the kind of rich, multifaceted
communication that I have sketched here. Later chapters will add
color and texture to what has already been sketched briefly in earlier
chapters.
Counting the Cost
(^) Honest, thorough, truly biblical communication is expensive.
Insightful and penetrating conversations take time. Children require
both time and flexibility. Children do not pour their hearts out or open
themselves up on a demand schedule. A wise parent talks when the
kids are in the mood. Every so often they will ask a question, make a
comment, reveal some little aspect of their heart. In those times,
when their conscience is stirred, you need to talk. This may require
dropping everything else to seize a critical moment.
(^) You must become a good listener. You will miss precious
opportunities when you only half-listen to your children. The best
way you can train your children to be active listeners is by actively
listening to them.
(^) Some people think listening is what you do between opportunities
to say something. During listening times they don’t listen at all. They
are deciding what to say. Don’t be such a parent. The Proverbs remind
you that the fool does not delight in understanding, but in airing his
own opinion (Proverbs 18:2).
(^) It is certainly hard to know when to be quiet and listen, but no one
said parenting would be easy. Work at it. Stop sometimes and think
about what you have heard. Think, too, about what you have not
heard. Stopping and listening provides time to pray silently, to
refocus and be creative in your conversation.