returns him to the place of submission to parents in which God has
promised blessing.
(^) The rod promotes an atmosphere of closeness and openness
between parent and child. The parent who is engaging his child and
refusing to ignore things that challenge the integrity of their
relationship will experience intimacy with his child. When a child is
allowed to be sullen and disobedient, distance develops between the
parent and child. The parent who refuses to allow estrangement will
enjoy a close and open relationship.
The Best of Both
(^) If you focus exclusively on either the rod or communication, you
will be like a ship with all the cargo loaded on one side. You won’t
sail very well. Communication and the rod are not stand-alone
methods. They are designed to work together.
(^) This is the point of Hebrews 12:5–6: “You have forgotten that
word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: ‘My son, do not
make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he
rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he
punishes everyone he accepts as a son.’ ”
(^) Your children need to be known and understood—thus rich
communication is necessary. They also need authority. They need
limits that are clear and correction that is predictable—thus the rod is
necessary.
(^) The use of the rod preserves biblically rooted, parental authority.
The emphasis on rich communication prohibits cold, tyrannical
discipline.
(^) Obviously, the primacy of one or the other of these methods will
depend on the ages of your children. We will focus on this in greater
depth in the second part of this book.
(^) Some parents have a greater facility for either communication or
the rod. It is good to be sensitive to the nonbiblical distortions of