The Whole-Brain Child

pieces into explicit form in order to be able to reɻect on their
impact on our lives. That’s where the hippocampus comes in. By
performing the important function of integrating implicit and
explicit memories, it allows us to become the active authors of our
own life stories. When Tina talked to her son about his fearful
associations with swim lessons, she was simply helping his
hippocampus do its job. It didn’t take much for his implicit
memories to become explicit, so that he could handle his fear and
make sense of both his painful experience in the past and how it
was still affecting him in the present.
When we don’t oʃer a place for children to express their feelings
and recall what happened after an overwhelming event, their
implicit-only memories remain in dis-integrated form, leaving the
children with no way to make sense of their experience. But when
we help our kids integrate their past into their present, they can
then make sense of what’s going on inside them and gain control
over how they think and behave. The more you promote this type
of memory integration in your child, the less often you will see
irrational responses to what’s happening now that are really
leftover reactions from the past.
We’re not saying that memory integration is a parental cure-all
that will prevent all outbursts and irrational reactions. But it is a
powerful tool for dealing with diɽcult experiences from the past,
and you’ll be grateful to know about it the next time your child is
struggling for some unknown reason. Granted, when your ɹve-
year-old can’t ɹnd the taillight to complete Luke Skywalker’s land
cruiser and launches into an out-of-control yelling ɹt about “the
stupid Lego store,” that may have nothing to do with some sort of
George Lucas–inspired implicit memory. In fact, before you over-
analyze the situation, HALT and check the basics: is your little Jedi
simply hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? If so, these problems can be
ɹxed pretty easily. Get him an apple. Listen to his feelings of