The Whole-Brain Child

because of what had happened with Ryan and the knife.
David decided to help Eli take that implicit memory and make it
explicit. He called his son out to the garage, where he had his tools
set up. As soon as Eli entered the garage and looked at the electric
saw, his eyes widened and his dad saw fear on his face. He tried to
appear normal as he said, “Dad, I don’t want to do the Pinewood
Derby this year.”
David responded in his most nurturing voice. “I know, son, and I
also think I know why.”
He talked to Eli about the connection between the car race and
the knife accident, but Eli resisted this explanation. He said, “No,
that’s not it. I’m just too busy with school right now.”
But David pressed him. “I know you’re busy, but I think there’s
more to it than that. Let’s just talk again about what happened that
day at the park.”
Eli’s face again showed fear. “Dad, that was a long time ago. We
don’t have to talk about it.”
David reassured him, then he taught him a powerful technique
for dealing with painful memories. He told his son, “I’m going to
talk through the story, just the way you told it to me last summer.
And I want you to imagine the story in your head, as if you were
watching a DVD inside your brain.”
Eli interrupted, “Dad, I really don’t want to.”
“I know you don’t,” David said. “But this is where the good part
comes in. I want you to imagine that you’re holding a remote
control, just like the one we use when we watch movies in the
house. And when I get to a part of the story you don’t want to
think about, you just hit pause. When you say ‘Pause,’ I’ll stop.
Then we can fast-forward past that scene. Can we do that?”
Eli said slowly, “OK”—the way kids do when they’re responding
to a request they think is crazy.
David proceeded to tell the story. He told about Eli’s arrival at