studies of happiness and wisdom reveal that a key factor in well-
being is devoting one’s attention and passions to the beneɹt of
others instead of just focusing on the individual, separate concerns
of a private self. The “me” discovers meaning and happiness by
joining and belonging to a “we.”
To put it diʃerently, the brain is set up for interpersonal
integration. Just as its many diʃerent parts are made to work
together, each individual brain is made to relate with the brain of
each person we interact with. Interpersonal integration means that
we honor and nurture our diʃerences while cultivating our
connections with one another. So while we want to help our kids
integrate their left and right brain, their upstairs and downstairs
brain, their implicit and explicit memories, and so on, we also need
to help them understand the extent to which they are connected to
their family, friends, classmates, and other people in their
communities. By understanding basic facets of the relational brain,
we can help our kids develop the mindsight that will allow them to
enjoy deeper and more meaningful relationships.
MIRROR NEURONS: THE REFLECTORS IN THE MIND
Do you ever get thirsty when you see someone take a drink? Or
yawn when someone else does? These familiar responses can be
understood in light of one of the most fascinating recent
discoveries about the brain: mirror neurons. Here’s how the
discovery took place.
In the early 1990s, a group of Italian neuroscientists were
studying the brain of a macaque monkey. They had implanted
electrodes to monitor individual neurons, and when the monkey
ate a peanut, a certain electrode ɹred. No surprise there—that’s
what the researchers expected. But then a scientist’s snack changed