The Whole-Brain Child

neurotransmitter, which means that it enables communication
between brain cells. Your brain cells receive what some people call
“dopamine squirts” when something pleasurable happens to you,
and it motivates you to want to do it again. Scientists who study
addiction point to these dopamine surges as factors that lead
people to maintain a certain habit or addiction, even when they
know it’s bad for them. But we can also help produce dopamine
squirts that reinforce positive and healthy desires, like enjoying
family relationships. Dopamine is the chemical of reward—and
play and fun are rewarding in our lives.
What this means is that when your son squeals in delight when
you dramatically “die” from his Peter Pan sword thrust, when you
and your daughter dance together at a concert or in the living
room, or when you and your kids work together on a gardening or
construction project, the experience strengthens the bonds between
you and teaches your kids that relationships are aɽrming,
rewarding, and fulɹlling. So give it a shot, maybe even tonight.
After dinner, call out, “Everybody take your plate back to the
kitchen, then ɹnd one blanket and meet me in the living room.
We’re having Popsicles in a fort tonight!”
Another fun family activity that also teaches receptivity is to
play improv games together. The basic concept is similar to what
improv comedians do when the audience gives them suggestions
and the comedians have to take the random ideas and combine
them in funny ways that make some sort of sense. If you and your
kids are performers, you can actually do this kind of improv
together. But there are simpler versions of the activity as well. Let
someone begin a story, then after one sentence, the next person has
to add to it, followed by the next person, and so on. Games and
activities like these not only keep the family fun factor high, but
also give kids practice at being receptive to the unexpected turns
life presents them. You don’t want to turn the game into a serious