teach, you might go at the conversation a bit diʃerently. First
you’d want to demonstrate an awareness of your daughter’s
feelings. (Remember, connect ɹrst, then redirect.) This will
decrease your daughter’s defensiveness and prepare her to see how
her brother feels. Then you could aim for the goal of creating some
empathy in your daughter.
Granted, we won’t always get through to our kids. But by asking
questions about how another person feels, about why someone
reacted as he did, we can encourage empathy in our children. The
act of considering the mind of another requires us to use our right
hemisphere and our upstairs brain, both of which are part of the
social circuitry that allows us to enjoy mature and fulɹlling
relationships.
Listen to What’s Not Being Said:
Teach Kids About Nonverbal Communication and Attuning to Others
It’s great that we teach our children to pay attention to what
people are saying: “Listen to his words. He said he didn’t want to
be sprayed by the hose!” But an important part of relationships is
listening to what’s not being said. Usually kids aren’t naturally
skilled at this. That’s why, when you reprimand your son for
making his little sister cry by dipping his pretzels into her yogurt,
he responds, “But she likes it! We’re playing a game.”
Nonverbal clues sometimes communicate even more than words,
so we need to help our children use their right hemisphere to get
good at understanding what other people are saying, even if they
never open their mouth. With the mirror neuron system already
working, all kids need is for us to help them make explicit what
their mirror neurons are communicating. For example, after
winning a big soccer game, your son might need you to help him
notice that his friend on the other team is in need of some cheering