CHAPTER 3

Building the Staircase of the Mind

Integrating the Upstairs and Downstairs Brain

One afternoon Jill heard yelling and commotion in the bedroom of
her six-year-old, Grant. Four-year-old Gracie had found her
brother’s treasure box and taken his “most rarest crystal,” which
she then lost. Jill arrived just in time to hear Gracie say, in her
most spiteful voice, “It’s just a dumb rock and I’m glad I lost it!”
Jill looked at her young son, ɹsts clenched and face turning red.
You’ve probably experienced just such a moment, where a situation
with your child is delicately balanced and is about to turn ugly.
Things could still be salvaged and tip toward a good and peaceful
resolution. Or they could tilt in the other direction, devolving into
chaos, anarchy, even violence.
And it all depends on your little darling controlling an impulse.
Calming some big feelings. Making a good decision.
Yikes.
In this case, Jill immediately saw signs of what was coming:
Grant was losing control and was not going to make a good
decision. She saw the fury in his eyes and heard the beginnings of a
barbaric growl begin to emerge from his throat. She matched him,
step for step, as he raced across the few feet between himself and
his sister. Fortunately, Jill was quicker and intercepted Grant
before he reached Gracie. She picked him up and held him close as
his punches and kicks ɻailed wildly in the air, Grant screaming all
the while. When he ɹnally stopped ɹghting, Jill set him down.
Through his tears he looked at his sister, who actually adored and
idolized him, and calmly uttered the phrase, “You’re the worst