helped her pack for camp. He asked whether she expected to feel
homesick while she was away. When he received the expected
noncommittal “Maybe” in response, he followed up with another
question: “How do you think you’ll handle that?”
Again he received a non-answer—“I don’t know”—but this time
he could see her beginning to think about the question, if only a
little.
So he pressed further: “If you do start feeling homesick, what’s
something you can do to feel better?”
Catherine continued stuɽng clothes into her duʃel bag, but she
was obviously thinking about the question now. Finally she oʃered
an actual answer: “I guess I could write you a letter, or I could do
something fun with my friends.”
From here she and her father were able to talk for a couple of
minutes about her expectations and concerns about going away,
and she developed a bit more self-understanding. Simply because
her father asked her a few questions.
When your child is old enough to be able to write—or even just
draw—you might give him a journal and encourage daily writing or
drawing. This ritual can enhance his ability to pay attention to and
understand his internal landscape. Or for a younger child, have her
draw pictures that tell a story. The more your kids think about
what’s going on within themselves, the more they will develop the
ability to understand and respond to what’s going on in the worlds
within and around them.
Empathy
Empathy is another important function of the upstairs brain. When
you ask simple questions that encourage the consideration of
another’s feelings, you are building your child’s ability to feel
empathy. At a restaurant: “Why do you think that baby is crying?”