When we open up internal space, we discover new ways of encountering
our children, which is refreshingly different from repeatedly engaging in
the same battles. Coming from a need to “do” something divorces us
from our flow of creativity. Life is then parent pitted against child, a
battle for the supremacy of egos. Only to the degree we live in a state of
being are we able to approach circumstances in our life with openness
and surrender. Freed from our stifling judgments, we are then able to
interact with the actual situation before us in the manner each situation
requires, rather than coming from unconscious projections. The more we
hone this ability to meet life in a neutral state, without attributing
“goodness” or “badness” to what we are encountering, but simply
accepting its as-is-ness, the less our need to interpret every dynamic as if
it were about us. Our children can then have their tantrums without
triggering us, and we can correct their behavior without dumping on
them our own residual resentment, guilt, fear, or distrust.
When the individuals in our life are allowed to possess their own
emotions without everyone tripping over everyone else’s emotional
drama, we begin to fully accept all our emotions, knowing that they are
simply emotions. Now we view life with its full spectrum of colors. We
experience it without needing to narrow it into the limiting categories of
“good” versus “bad,” or “me” as opposed to “you.” Life is too rich, too
complex to be categorized. People are inherently unquantifiable.WHAT IT TAKES TO TAME YOUR ANXIETY
As we saw in Peter’s case, he quickly reached a stage of anxiety and
internal tension. He carried within his bones a tightness that his son