The Conscious Parent

develop on a spiritual level.
When people hear that they might have invited what they see as a
negative experience into their life, they are often indignant: “Does this
mean I caused the cancer in my body, or the accident my child was in?
How am I responsible for an earthquake or the downturn in the
economy? I can’t possibly be the cause of such seemingly random
events.” Many are confused by this.
In my own case, my confusion cleared up when I realized there are two
kinds of events: personal, and impersonal. Personal events include
marriage, parenthood, work, friendships, and the like. Through
engagement with another, it’s fairly obvious how we cocreate the reality
we experience. Personal events also include such elements as our eating
habits, exercise choices, attitudes, and motivational level. Though we
might like to live under the illusion that things just “happen,” we help
create our reality just by the fact of our presence in the dynamic.
Impersonal events are a little different and tend to feel like they really
do just happen to us. I’m thinking of aspects of life such as the economy,
our supervisor’s bad mood, the neighbor’s noisy dog, a car accident in
which we weren’t at fault, a flood, or a tornado. Such events often seem
random and unpredictable, as if they can pounce on us without a
moment’s notice—and certainly without our conscious approval.
If we are in denial of life’s potential craziness, imagining that
somehow our resistance will magically keep things from happening to
us, we will find ourselves in a cauldron of frustration, if not despair.
When such events occur, it is our response to such random occurrences
that’s key. This is where we get to make a choice and give our consent.