TODDLERHOOD IS THE TIME TO SOW THE SEEDS
OF CONTAINMENT
Just as we must allow our toddler to exercise its right to limitless
adventure, we must also provide it with an understanding of its limits.
Nestled between infancy and childhood, this stage knows no logic or
reason. Everything occurs at an instinctual level, which means that
impulses often run amuck. Imposing a sense of guidance amid all this
energetic discharge is a challenge, but this is the stage in which we must
sow the first real seeds of containment.
Thoughts that come to us at this stage in our child’s development run
something like, “You are testing me constantly to discover how far you
can push before I yield, how loud you can scream before I stop you, how
bratty you can be before I hush you. You are discovering the boundaries
of your world. At times I hesitate to let you know that you come with
limits. I see your desire to be a superhero and your full faith that you are.
I want to let your imagination be on fire. Yet I must also stop you and
tell you that no matter what you believe, you cannot fly out of the
window.”
As the first foray into the realm of boundaries, containment, and
negotiation, toddlerhood can be as much about a battle of wills as can the
teen years. How are we to best impose limitations on our toddler’s
curiosity when a situation becomes dangerous? Where does the line get
drawn? How much is too much, how little too little?
The parent quickly realizes that the needs of a toddler are vastly
different from those of an infant. When the first “no” is uttered by the
parent and metabolized by the child, the idea of acceptable and