T

CHAPTER 8

From Center Stage to Supporting Cast

A Parent’s Opportunity for Spiritual Growth in the

School Years

he  early   school  years   are when    our children    learn   volumes of

information on  a   daily   basis,  some    of  which   may prove

overwhelming,   while   other   aspects turn    out to  be  liberating.

Children    at  this    age go  through phases  of  regression  during  which   they

cling   to  their   parents,    alternating with    phases  of  rejection   of  their   parents

as  they    only    want    to  be  with    their   peers.  They    are as  needy   and clingy  as

they    are autonomous  and free-spirited.  They    are as  rebellious  and defiant

as  they    are obedient    and angelic.    Still   extremely   temperamental   and

moody,  in  other   ways    they    can manifest    a   maturity    that’s  inspiring.

When    my  daughter    entered this    phase,  I   found   myself  musing,

“Suddenly   you have    discovered  friends.    I   am  not as  important,  and for

this    I   am  both    relieved    and nostalgic.  Now we  will    discover    how sturdy

our connection  to  each    other   truly   is.”

In  this    time    for socialization,  our children    learn   to  get along   with    their

friends without our help,   obey    the norms   of  their   school, engage  a

curriculum, and regulate    their   own emotions.   Our youngsters  get to  see

who they    are vis-à-vis   their   friends and teachers    as  they    come    to  rely    on

themselves  and people  external    to  the home    to  reflect back    to  them    their

sense   of  identity.

As  much    as  this    is  a   time    for experimentation,    it’s    also    a   time    when