WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO RESIST THE
TEMPTATION TO CONTROL
Although the behavior of a teen in high school may at times tempt us to
increase control, this is the moment for us to occupy a space in the wings.
Now is the opportunity for our children to manifest all we have taught
them, all the morals and values we have instilled in them. They need to
flap their wings and fly, at least around the block. We have to encircle
our teens with our embrace, but in a manner that’s loose. They need to
know they can always come home, but what is more important, that they
are free to fly.
I know that as my daughter reaches her teens, I will need to resist the
insertion of my ego. I can already hear myself saying, “I still have so
many opinions to share, so much insight to impart. However, I recognize
that my time for grand speeches has come to a close. It’s your time to
write your own.”
The choice of courses our children study at school, the friends they
make, and the hobbies they pursue are now less our business and more
their own. Of course, our fear is that they will make poor choices and
become subject to detrimental influences. This is always a risk, but the
options left to us as parents are now limited. If our teens are failing in
school or unmotivated, it’s because they are trying to tell us that
something is wrong, which leaves us with only one way to respond:
acceptance. We can then take appropriate action, such as getting them
extra help if they wish it, but especially giving them the emotional
support they need. If your children are making poor choices concerning