The Conscious Parent

children to get them to be “good.”
I watched this happen with a mother and her two children. A fashion
designer who left her career to become a full-time mother, this woman’s
focus was her children, to the point that her entire day revolved around
them. Over-zealous and over-involved, they were signed up for activities
every evening, which meant she was constantly in her car running back
and forth to pick them up and drop them off. That they excelled in their
academics and activities was of utmost importance to her. Since her
daughter was a star swimmer and her son a stellar pianist, this mother
couldn’t be more proud of them and lived for their moments of triumph.
The first parent to arrive at all their events, it was these occasions that
made her feel worthy as both a mother and a human being.
Then one day the school guidance counselor called this mother to say
that her daughter had confided she had become bulimic. The little girl
had broken down, declaring she was terrified of her mother finding out,
and kept repeating, “Please don’t tell my mother. She will hate me. She
will be so disappointed in me.” The daughter was just eight years old
when she became bulimic after feeling pressured to look thinner in her
bathing suit.
It was at this point that the mother slammed the brakes on all their
lives. This was the first time she had considered the toll the endless
activities were taking on her children’s emotional wellbeing. Until now,
she had presumed she was doing the best she could for them. She would
never have imagined all the pressure might have an adverse effect. How
could she know? When she was a child, she wasn’t exposed to activities
or given much attention by her parents, who traveled a great deal,