that by not having clear expectations, we will produce unmotivated, lazy
children. However, rigid standards only serve to make our children
anxious.
When we focus on the process, not the outcome, our children develop
their innate curiosity, which causes them to show interest on their own
initiative. In this way, we embed in them a thirst for learning that
surpasses the fleeting pleasure they derive from gaining our approval
through grades. They reach for their own calling, kindling their own
desire to live not just a successful life but a meaningful one.
We need to teach our children to approach life not with their focus on
how much praise or how many accolades they can receive, but with their
focus on what they are putting into it. Life reflects the internal state with
which we enter it. Our children need to know that the quality of their
inner life will manifest in their external circumstances.USE THE RIGHT KIND OF PRAISE
When things don’t work out in the manner our children expect, instead of
wasting energy on disappointment and resentment, to parent consciously
means we focus on the qualities that were allowed to emerge as a result
of the process. “Look how much you learned about yourself,” we might
say. “Did you see how brave you were to put yourself out there? Did you
notice how you were able to persevere when you felt defeated at times?”
Next we might ask, “How does it feel now that you have overcome your
fear?” Such an approach shapes an adult who is unafraid of life’s
outcomes. They celebrate every experience because it’s rich in self-
learning and increased awareness.