The Conscious Parent

When we don’t look to our children to make us happy, but find our
happiness elsewhere, we liberate them to be true to who they are. They
are able to bask in our happiness without the burden of being the reason
for it. Doing something we love, connecting to our inner being in
stillness and solitude, honoring our body by taking care of it on a daily
basis through the food we eat, the exercise we engage in, and the way we
are at peace with how we look are all ways of teaching our children to
value themselves.
A friend described growing up with a mother who was always eager to
be the “best” housewife and hostess. Whenever guests came, she went to
extreme lengths to tidy the house, decorating it throughout with
flowers, fixing her hair to perfection, and preparing elaborate meals.
However, when no guests were expected, she did none of these things. So
great was the contrast between the two states that my friend came to
believe others were far more important than ourselves. Perhaps only six
or seven years old at the time, she remembers the exact moment she
realized that “if mommy bends over backwards to please others so much,
they must be more important than she is, since she nearly kills herself
each time to take care of them.”
You need to teach your children to be unafraid of owning their voice,
their space, and their needs. They thrive when they feel free to stand up
for themselves and set boundaries, without any hesitation to defend their
rights. At the same time, they need to be able to give to others. True
giving, which is fundamentally different from giving because it fills an
empty space in your life and is therefore a form of neediness, comes
from awareness of inner abundance. There is no giving if the inner well