T

CHAPTER 17

The Two Wings of the Eagle

o   develop conscious   behavior,   a   child   needs   two streams of

learning.   I   like    to  think   of  them    as  the two wings   of  an  eagle.

authenticity    and containment.    A   child   missing one or

They    are the other   will    flounder,   never   soaring to  the heights of  its

potential.

So  far in  this    book,   we  have    focused on  authenticity,   which   springs

from    a   strong  connection  to  our inner   being.  For a   child,  this    means

learning    to  recognize   their   own inner   voice,  which   will    teach   them    how

to  expand  their   presence    in  the world.  As  children    increasingly    relate  to

their   inner   being,  they    learn   not just    to  accept  themselves, but also    to

embrace their   own will    and manifest    this    in  the world.  They    develop the

ability to  forge   a   meaningful  connection  with    others, as  well    as  with    life

itself.

Containment,    the other   wing    of  the eagle,  is  the means   by  which   we

absorb  the will    of  another.    While   authenticity    requires    us  to  respect our

own inner   being   and express who we  are,    containment allows  us  to

contour this    in  relation    to  the will    of  those   around  us.

Our children    need    to  learn   both    the art of  connection  to  themselves  and

connection  to  others, which   are the two pillars of  all relationships.  The

ability to  relate  to  another is  linked  to  our ability to  connect with

ourselves,  which   is  the springboard of  authenticity    and the key to  our

ability to  maintain    meaningful  relationships.