The Conscious Parent

situation. We regard them as an enemy only because of our inability to
understand and master our internal shadow, which we project onto them.
The more helpful response to being triggered is to recognize your
emotional charge as a signal that something is amiss within you. In other
words, emotional reactivity is a reason to go inward, focusing on your
own growth. Once you realize there are no enemies, only guides to inner
growth, all who play a part in your life become mirrors of your forgotten
self. Life’s challenges then become emotionally regenerative
opportunities. When you encounter a roadblock in your life, whether a
person or a situation, instead of seeing it as an enemy to be reacted
against, you pause and ask yourself, “What do I perceive I’m lacking?”
You recognize that the lack you perceive in your environment arose
because of an internal sense of lack.
This realization invites you to appreciate the person or situation for
their kindness in serving as a mirror of your sense of lack. The split
between yourself and the other is then no longer present because it’s not
so much about a separate “other,” even though the person is a separate
individual, but is a mirror of your internal state. You realize you brought
this spiritual lesson into your life because your essential being desires
change in your everyday behavior.
Since no other journey is able to evoke more emotional reactivity in us
than parenting, to be a parent invites us to treat the reactions our children
trigger in us as opportunities for spiritual growth. By bringing our
emotional shadow into the spotlight as never before, parenting affords us
a wonderful opportunity to tame our reactivity. Indeed, the parenting
journey has the potential to be an especially regenerative experience for