learned. By silently witnessing our thoughts and feelings, we learn to
accept them as they are, allowing them to rise and fall within us without
resisting them or reacting to them.
As you learn to be with your emotions, they will no longer overwhelm
you. In the full acceptance of surrender, which is of a quite different
character from mere resignation, you come to see that pain is simply
pain, nothing more and nothing less. Yes, pain is painful— it’s meant to
be. However, when you don’t fuel your pain by either resisting or
reacting, but sit with it, it transforms itself into wisdom. Your wisdom
will increase in line with your capacity for embracing all of your
feelings, whatever their nature. Along with increased wisdom comes a
greater capacity for compassion.
When we learn to accept the whole of our experience—the fact that
situations simply will not run to plan at times, but have their own will—
we begin to dance with life. As our children observe us in the dance, they
also learn that feeling all we are feeling is the way we grow. They learn
to transcend their fear of emotions that are uncomfortable and even
painful, so that no part of their being is squelched.HOW TO HANDLE YOUR CHILD’S PAIN
When our children are hurt either physically or psychologically, it can be
unbearable for parents. In the case of emotional hurt, we want to rescue
them, which is partly driven by our own helplessness at not being able to
assuage their pain. We call the principal, yell at the teacher, complain to
the parent of the child who dared to hurt them, not realizing that this
solidifies their pain. It also fosters an inability to tolerate pain, both their