PEARL 5

Bullies

Since the first one-room schoolhouse, there have been children who

bully others, but in days of yore, kids didn’t bring guns to school to settle
their disputes. Why do some kids get bullied more than others? The fact
is that there are many good, quiet, polite, and intelligent kids who are
mistreated by others, particularly in the zoo called middle — or junior
high — school. (It should have been called “senior elementary,” and then
everyone would have more correct expectations.) Generally, preteens
make fun of almost anyone or anything different. All the politically
correct “celebrate diversity” speeches tend to fall on deaf ears in middle
school and aren’t going to change behavior that may be simply a
developmental response at this stage of life.
Unfortunately, depending upon the school, being very good-looking,
responsible, and kind leads some good kids to stand out like punching
dummies — especially if they don’t know how to easily roll with the
give-and-take of preteen nonsense. Some children who relate well to
adults and who are more mature simply have trouble coping with the
immaturity of their peers.
Many parents attempt to make the situation kinder for their child. This
may work. Sometimes a mom with a special-needs child can tell a class
how much she and her child appreciate their understanding and how hard
it is for the child to understand what is socially appropriate. The more
challenged the child, the more important it is to try to modify the
environment in this way. However, if the child is competent and
understanding, it may be better to help him or her learn to cope. Instead