PEARL 6

Car Wars: Backseat Battles

It starts benignly. Cameron trespasses into Molly’s “space” in the

backseat of the family car, and Molly yells, “Mom, Cameron’s on my
side.” Then Molly socks him on the arm. “Keep your filthy paws on your
own side, Cameron!”
Cameron retreats to his armrest to regroup, for Molly is marginally
larger than he and packs a meaner right jab. But the provocateur in
Cameron cannot be subdued. Carefully, he inches his right hand toward
the middle of the seat. First his forefinger, then the rest of his fingers,
then his whole hand moves into his sister’s space.
“Mom!” Molly yells. “Make him stop!” Then she attacks: fists,
screams, hair pulling. World War III breaks out in the backseat.
There is something about the backseat of a moving car that excites
kids. Call it cabin fever, call it seizing the moment when parents are
otherwise occupied, but put two or more kids in the same car together,
and they turn into a cross between guerrilla warriors and stool pigeons.
They fight, they argue, they hassle each other, and they hassle us. So we
say, “You guys be quiet back there.” While this may provide temporary
relief, it usually fails to have a lasting effect. In fact, it may last only a
few blocks, at which point we are forced to say something even stronger.
The backseat problem is one we can and should nip in the bud. If we
handle the problem when it’s not really serious, it will never become
serious. But we must choose the time wisely: when we aren’t in a hurry to
get anywhere and when it doesn’t matter how long we take to get our
message across. Our message is simply, “I’m not going to tolerate