PEARL 12

Discipline in Public

Kids are born smart. Even before they can speak intelligibly, they know

when to apply the needle to us. More times than not, their bigger
triumphs are in a store, a shopping center, a restaurant, and other public
places.
You’ve been there. Put little Caitlin in your shopping cart, and she
launches into her fire engine imitation. Take your eyes off little Anthony
for one second at church, and before you know it, he’s chewing on Mrs.
Snyder’s nylons three rows away. If you scold them, they let out a wail
that makes Mick Jagger sound like a member of the Vienna Boys Choir.
As one mother put it, “Julia behaves just great when we happen to be
going somewhere she wants to go, but just let it be a shopping trip for me,
and the kid goes wild. It always seems to happen in a public place, where
I just can’t gain control of the situation. Everybody stares at us, and I’m
so embarrassed, I could die.”
Kids think their parents don’t dare do anything to them because they’re
out in public. Parents think they don’t dare consequence their kids with so
many people looking on. However, the people watching wonder why in
the world those parents don’t do something about that obnoxious kid!
When you put it all together, it can get pretty hairy. But a public place
is no different from the living room. True, it doesn’t lend itself to
meaningful parent-child discussion, but that doesn’t mean we just forget
Love and Logic principles. Children who misbehave in a public place
must be disciplined; otherwise, every trip to the store sets the stage for
disaster.