I need to apologize to you. I’m doing it in writing just in case
you want to revisit my thoughts in the future. Please don’t feel
a need to respond right away. I just want you to think about this
for a while.
I have made a big mistake not being open with you about the
fact that your dad and I often differ on how to be parents. I have
spent too much time trying to make him be the same as me.
That’s not fair to you or to him. We both love you very much
but have different ways of showing it. By trying to make him do
things my way, you have been caught in the middle of our
unhappiness. This often happens in marriages and especially
happens in divorces.
My way of showing my love for you is to work hard to help
you become a good person. To do this, I have to hold you
accountable for your actions. This means I also have to be
prepared for you to be angry with me for a while.
The mistake I have been making is to ask your dad to
discipline you over things that happen in my house. I’m not
going to do that anymore. You and I will take care of those
problems without involving Dad. Dad can deal with any
problems that come up at his house without interference from
me. I hope this will be less confusing for you.
You are growing up with two different kinds of parents. As
time goes on, you will have plenty of different thoughts and
feelings about each of us. Please remember that we both love
you very much. I hope you know the divorce was not your fault.
I hope you know it’s okay to love both Dad and me at the same
time.
Love,
MomThis was a tough letter for Mom to write. There were many things she
wanted to say but knew better. She wanted to share her feelings of anger