or nice.” Many of today’s children believe that pouting and “being
naughty or nice” have absolutely nothing to do with the stash they are
entitled to receive. They feel they are owed the gifts. If a sincere thank-
you is missing, you are raising an entitled child. This is easy to ignore
when the kids are younger but often becomes blaming and hostile when
they are teens.
Guideline Two: All kids should be equally loved and treated equally.
However, equal treatment does not always mean equal gifts.
The happiest parents know (and wise children learn) there are different
strokes for different folks. That’s the way the world works. Sometimes
one kid needs something expensive and the other kid doesn’t. Loving
parents who generally treat their children equally help their children learn
to delay gratification, show appreciation, develop coping skills, handle
jealousy, and understand the needs of others when they don’t act as if
every child needs a gift every time another receives one. Parents who
equally love their kids and are equally generous overall don’t have to feel
like they need to give equal-value gifts on every occasion.
Guideline Three: Don’t buy into marketing hype.
By the time the holidays roll around, your kids have been bombarded
with advertising pitches. They want a “look-like-me doll” or a particular
game. Nothing else will do. It is okay to gratify such whims if the child
has knowledge of real reasons the advertised item is attractive. But wise
parents help their children to not fall for a pitch: “Wow, they make that
plastic rocket look twice as big as it is, and the kids have ten times more
fun with it than they really would. I guess you already figured that one
out, didn’t you?”
It’s perfectly okay to say to a child, “Honey, buying stuff like that
simply does not fit my value system. It’s not what I do. But I can
understand your wanting it. You can buy it if you would like!”
Guideline Four: Be creative about opening gifts.
No need to necessarily open all twenty gifts within a twelve-hour period.