or by thinking about your homework. Which do you want to do
tonight?”
IAN: “I’ll just think about my homework.”
CHRISTINE: “You can do it that way if you want, son. I hope you’ll
be able to get your teacher to go along with it. Do you think he’ll
accept that method of doing homework?”
IAN: “I don’t know.”
CHRISTINE: “Well, why don’t you give that some thought before
you think about your homework tonight. You’ve got a lot of thinking
to do in an hour. So I’ll see you when you’re done.”There is nothing wrong with parents helping their kids with homework.
Many children want help, and we should be there with the needed hint or
explanation — but only if our kids ask for it, and only as long as it’s
profitable. When we start to become irritated, we’ve helped enough. In
this way, we present our children with a positive role model by not
allowing their problem with homework in an unhealthy way to become
our problem. But our positive model shouldn’t stop there. We show our
kids the proper way to approach homework when we talk about the
importance of doing our own homework or office work. Saying things
like, “I’ve got to get my homework done,” immediately after dinner, or,
“I don’t feel good doing anything else until I get my work done first,”
then following through gives our kids an example to imitate.
Unwillingness to do homework is a complicated issue. Laziness is only
one cause. A myriad of other underlying causes may be at the core of the
problem. The child might have a learning disorder, an attention-deficit
disorder, a neurological problem, or an attitude problem. In these cases,
treating the symptoms does no good whatsoever. If you determine that
these more serious underlying causes may exist, seek professional
counseling.