Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

the appropriate behavior. An egg timer is a great aid for this. When the
timer dings, give him a hug for his accomplishment and let him play near
you again.
Sometimes kids want to leave their room because of some previous
traumatizing experience, such as hospitalization or surgery. These
children need our special understanding, and often a good discussion with
much reassurance helps them overcome their fears. But knowing the
reason for the problem is not an excuse to let it continue. If the behavior
persists, we must allow them to work it out.
In addition to disciplinary situations, another major problem parents
face is when children frequently wander out of their room at night,
waking their parents for drinks of water or because they’re afraid. A
night-light may help cure this problem. If the child continues to pester
parents at night (many kids will), a more direct solution is needed.
Set up an evening or two to deal with the problem. On that evening, say
to your spouse, within the child’s hearing, “We need to get a good night’s
sleep, and that’s difficult to do with Tanner around. How about you and
me going to the Holiday Inn tonight? We’ll be able to relax and get a
good night’s sleep.” Then the parents would give Tanner a loving kiss and
hug and call a babysitter, whom they’ve notified earlier, to come stay
with the youngster overnight.
The babysitter has a role to play too. He or she should say things to the
child like, “Looks like your parents need a good night’s sleep. Maybe
they need only one night, but they might need more.” If the child wakes
the babysitter in the middle of the night, he or she should be
nonresponsive: “I don’t know what to do with kids who get up in the
middle of the night because I don’t have any kids who do that.” The
babysitter may have to do this two or three times during the night, but it’s
absolutely important that he or she not give in to the child’s request.
There should be no anger on the babysitter’s part or yours. We blow it
completely when we say, “Just see how you like spending the night
without us in the house. How are you going to feel about that?” The child
then becomes angry at us instead of concerned about his or her own