consternation and disappointment of their parents. But it makes sense.
These kids are rookies in the world of decision making. They’ve never
had to think — the drill sergeant took care of that. The kids have been
ordered around all their lives. They’re as dependent on their parents as
the kids of helicopter parents.
In addition, when the children of drill sergeant parents reach their teen
years, they are even more susceptible to peer pressure than most other
teens. Why? Because, as children, when the costs of mistakes were low,
they were never allowed to make their own decisions but were trained to
listen to a voice outside of their heads — that of their parents. However,
when they reach their teen years and no longer want to listen to their
parents, they still follow that same pattern, only this time the voice
outside of their heads no longer belongs to their parents; it belongs to
their “friends.” Drill sergeant parents tend to create kids who are
followers because they have never learned how to make decisions for
themselves.
Parents send messages to their children about what they think their
kids are capable of. The message the helicopter parent sends is, “You are
fragile and can’t make it without me.” The drill sergeant’s message is,
“You can’t think for yourself, so I’ll do it for you.” While both of these
parental types may successfully control their children in the early years,
they will have done their kids a disservice once puberty is reached.
Helicopter children become adolescents unable to cope with outside
forces, think for themselves, or handle their own problems. Drill sergeant
kids, who did a lot of saluting when they were young, will do a lot of
saluting when teenagers, but the salute is different: a raised fist or a crude
gesture involving the middle finger.
LOVE AND LOGIC TIP 1
The Laissez-Faire ParentAnother lesser parenting type that is worth mentioning here in
passing is what we call the laissez-faire parent. These are parents