Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

“ADHD” children have no problem at all attending to a clown, a magic
act, videotapes, or games. Their problem occurs when the teacher asks
them to focus on a task. With many, it’s not an attention problem at all
— it’s an intention problem!
Whether watching a Disney video or a cartoon, children are spending
valuable time learning to only attend, not focus on tasks and doing. We
have found bored children to usually simply ask, “What can I watch?”
instead of “What can I do?” just as their parents, who during their own
formative years grew up with TV now turn on the tube to help them relax.
As children grow older, wise parents, as we are about to note, avoid a
control battle around TV watching. As with many other issues, modeling
is the key.
It’s pretty unreasonable for major league couch potatoes, who hit the
“on” button at the opening theme of Good Morning America and the “off”
button after the last joke on the Late Show with David Letterman, to come
down hard on their children’s television habits. That we must be aware of
our own viewing habits is fairly obvious, but there’s more. If we are more
interesting to our children than the stuff that comes over the tube, they
will prefer being with us. A simple “What do you say we go make that
birdhouse, David,” or “Okay, Claire, are you ready to take on your mom
at Chinese checkers?” or “Come on out in the driveway, Christopher, and
I’ll show you the fine points of my world-famous sky hook” often will
pry our kids away from the box. Most kids would much rather do
something besides watch TV, as long as it’s with someone they love. To
influence our kids’ television habits, we must emphasize the alternatives,
playing up the good things about friends, family, hobbies, sports, and so
on.
It’s best not to set ourselves up for a control battle over television
watching with commands and threats. Harping on our kids constantly or
imposing severe cuts in their viewing habits often leads to rebellion.
What we can do, however, is influence our kids. A generous dose of
humor does wonders. Pushing on their heads as they watch television and
declaring, “Well, it’s not too soft yet,” sends them the message that too