approval); use thoughtful questions to explore your child’s point of
view.
- Ask if you can share your thoughts and observations.
- Give your ideas succinctly and lovingly, without over-lecturing.
Continue with questions if appropriate. - Thank your child for listening and close with the hope that he or
she will consider your opinion.
DAD: (looking over his son’s shoulder as blood of bad guys splatters
across the screen) “Hey, Rob, looks like you’re doing pretty well!
How’s it going?”
ROB: “Great, Dad! I’m on level four now, and I’ve wiped out a
whole enemy platoon.”
DAD: “I bet you feel great about that! How long have you been
fighting here?”
ROB: “About half an hour so far today, and about two hours
yesterday.”
DAD: “Wow. Lot’s of time fighting. What do you like best about
playing?”
ROB: “Well, I like outsmarting the enemy. These new games are so
realistic. Something that works the first time doesn’t work the
second. The bad guys learn! It’s the artificial intelligence
programming.”
DAD: “Yeah, I can see how that’s really exciting. Is it just you, or
are you leading a platoon?”
ROB: “Both. Depends on how I set up the situation!”
DAD: “Interesting.... Do you mind pausing the action while we talk
a minute?”
ROB: “Sure, Dad.” (Kids tend to want to hear what their parents
have to say when they are used to parents giving observations, ideas,
and thoughts rather than orders, demands, and accusations.)
DAD: “You know, Rob, I have always thought of you as a person
with real leadership qualities, and I always thought that you would