responses to family emotions and interactions. Therefore, “gut
feel” is more valid if we had a happy childhood and presently
have peaceful and rewarding relationships at home and
elsewhere. On the other hand, if we react to our childhood by
saying, “I sure want to do things differently with my kid than
my mom and dad did with me,” then our gut reactions will
probably be untrustworthy and faulty.
Don’t be alarmed if you feel uneasy with some of the
techniques in this book. In fact, if you want to raise your kids in
ways different from the way you were raised, your uneasiness
probably confirms that you’re on the right track in learning the
Love and Logic method.God gave all humans — His supreme creation — considerable
freedom, and that includes the opportunity to goof up. Failure and success
are two sides of the same coin. If there had been no forbidden tree in the
Garden of Eden, humanity would have had no opportunity to make
responsible or irresponsible choices. When Adam and Eve made the
wrong choice, God allowed them to suffer the consequences. Although He
did not approve of their disobedience, He loved them enough to let them
make a decision and live with the results.
God’s love in the garden sets the example for all parents to follow: He
allowed Adam and Eve the freedom to make the choice. In a similar way,
if we give children freedom and loving acceptance, they will sometimes
make choices and do things we don’t approve of.
As our children grow older and gain more power over their lives and
environment, the correct exercise of their ability to make decisions
becomes even more important for them. Just as God gave us a good mind
and the ability to excel, He has given us the capability to blow up the
planet. However, a race capable of blowing up the planet is also capable
of flying to Saturn. High success and high achievement carry with them
the risks of abysmal losses.
On a different scale, the “forbidden fruit” may be drugs, a particular
friend, Internet pornography sites, or any number of other things. Smart