Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

•           “You    have    to  be  told    what    to  do  by  a   voice   outside your

head.”

Conversely, when we parent with Love and Logic, we emphasize a
powerful combination: letting our children fail in nonthreatening
situations while emphasizing their strengths. We must be uncritical and
unprotective. Parents who raise irresponsible children do exactly the
opposite! They’re critical and protective.

LOVE AND LOGIC TIP 4

What    We  Say Is  Not Always  What    Kids    Hear

Kids are quick to understand the underlying messages we give, whether
they come through our words or our actions. Each of the following
examples carries both an overt and a covert meaning.

“Isabella,  I’ll    let you decide  that    for yourself.”

OVERT   MESSAGE:    “You    can decide.”

COVERT  MESSAGE:    “You    are capable.”

“Trevor,    I’ll    give    you one more    chance, but you better  shape   up.”

OVERT   MESSAGE:    “Things better  improve.”

COVERT  MESSAGE:    “You    can’t   handle  it. I   have    to  provide

another chance.”

“Why    in  the world   did you do  that,   Michael?”

OVERT   MESSAGE:    A   simple  question.

COVERT  MESSAGE:    “That   was very    foolish.”

“Don’t  go  out without your    coat,   Tessa.”

OVERT   MESSAGE:    A   simple  reminder.

COVERT  MESSAGE:    “You’re not capable of  thinking    for yourself.”