on the fuel gauge. However, when he married Shirley, she discovered this
habit and, fearful that he would run out of gas, took on the responsibility
of either reminding him to fill the tank or filling it herself. He never had
to worry about it; she had his problem well in hand.
After a while, though, Shirley got tired of this irresponsibility and
stopped rescuing Jim. One night, he ran out of gas, walked down a dark
road for help, stepped off a bridge, and tumbled ten feet into a streambed.
Jim was laid up for eight weeks before he walked again. It was then that
he realized Shirley was willing to worry about how much gas was in her
car but unwilling to worry about the gas in his. Guess who has never run
out of gas since? If Shirley wasn’t going to worry about that, somebody
had better.
Kids who deal directly with their own problems are moved to solve
them. They know that if they don’t, nobody will. Not their parents, not
their teachers — nobody. And on a subconscious level, they feel much
better about themselves when they handle their own problems.
You Have Your Troubles, I Have Mine
The list of kids’ problems is endless: getting to school on time, getting to
school at all, being hassled by friends, hassling friends, harassing
teachers, being harassed by teachers, poor grades, laziness, wrong choice
of friends, drugs, alcohol, and many, many more. Parents who involve
themselves in all of these problems can spend their every waking hour at
the task. Unfortunately, these parents believe they show their love for
their children by jumping into these conflicts and rescuing them.
LOVE AND LOGIC TIP 10
When to Step In/When to Stay Out of Kids’ ProblemsOccasionally, we should make our children’s problems our problems:
• We step in when our children are in definite danger of