rude gestures or behavior), how they do chores, playing loud music,
waking us up in the middle of the night, misbehaving when in public, or
matters surrounding their life support system (bread and butter, room and
board), then the problem has drifted out of their domain and directly into
ours. In short, if it’s a problem for us, it should soon be a problem for
them.
If Connor shoots off his mouth at school, we let the teachers take care
of the consequences with our support. But if Connor shoots his mouth off
at us, we deal with it.
If Mariah’s slowness in getting ready for school makes her late, we
stay clear of the problem. But if Mariah’s slowness in getting ready to
leave the house makes us late, we deal with it.
If Caden’s room is a nationally declared disaster area, we let him
wallow in the mire. But if Caden trashes the living room within fifteen
seconds of arrival, that affects us, so we help him handle it — our way.
Again, we are modeling appropriate adult behavior. We don’t allow
other people to harm us, and we therefore raise children who know how to
care for themselves and won’t allow others to cause them problems.
LOVE AND LOGIC TIP 11
The “Uh-Oh” SongFour-year-old Jasmine comes into the kitchen and wants a snack.
Because there’s only about a half hour left before dinner, her mother
tells her that she should wait. Jasmine, however, wants none of this.
She continues to beg and plead and finally ends up in a tantrum in
the middle of the floor. For many parents this would be the time to
hit the roof, but a Love and Logic parent sees the SLO in the
situation and is ready for it.
“Uh-oh,” Mom says quietly in a sing-songy voice, “looks like
someone needs a little private time to pull herself together.”
Jasmine’s head raises and her limbs stop pounding the floor.
She has heard this one before and knows what is coming next.